I used to be in an originals band, rehearsing, writing and recording week-in, week-out. I never imagined that one day my various masterpieces would end their lives on C90 cassettes in landfill (I had much grander dreams back then). Such was the effort we’d put into each and every song, constantly asking ourselves: “what would people like to hear in our songs?”

The answer is - of course - an impossible one to answer. We’d debut new material to friends and family. My dad would say “I hate that one about the flip top bins, but that’s probably a good thing” while the rest of the audience would be 50/50 split between which was their favourite and least favourite. It was a maddening process of non-discovery.

Truthfully, you can drive yourself mad trying to get any ‘please-all’ formula right, but ultimately the realisation is that all you can do is produce something YOU like and hope that the majority agrees with your choices.

Which brings me smoothly (see, you can tell I was once a creative sort) to the new business-related question: “how friendly should you be on the phone?”

Sponge has been in existence for nearly twenty years now. As you might imagine, in that time we’ve had various staff through the doors, each bringing their own personalities (or lack thereof) and styles to the gig. One chap would shout “GOOD MORNING!” down the line to each prospect, hoping that his 200% enthusiastic delivery would make people instantly like him. And then there’s the ‘building a rapport’ stuff [shudder].

The use of “how are you?” has changed in recent years. If anyone asked me that question before 2010 I’d have always answered honestly and politely, now I mostly hang up. It’s gone from a simple question to a shrieking warning that one of your ten-a-day sales calls has arrived.

I’m a big fan of one rule: RESPECT PEOPLE’S TIME. If Dean McProspect picks up the phone, you’re already winning in my book. Feel free to thank him for taking your call, but immediately respect his time by explaining why you’re calling rather than trying to become his new friend. Asking how someone is today, or how the weather is in [insert cleverly researched office location here] just forces someone to be false back at you.

Don’t do it; get to the point instead. I promise they’ll like you MUCH more if you respect their time rather than try to engage them in pleasantries.

But that might just be me; I’m still VERY bitter about the landfill.