I took my first pay check as a salesman back in the late 80s. White fluffy socks were still acceptable in social situations, fax machines were new and exciting, and the use of electric guitars in chart music was frowned upon. It was a fun time to be alive.

I was never a flashy salesman. I hated some (i.e. “many”, aka “pretty much all”) of my colleagues - predictable twatty sales ‘blokes’ in waistcoats and tie pins, hair slicked back like Gordon Gekko, jamming up Balls Bros of a lunchtime and drinking with their teeth wrapped round the glass.

My own sales technique was more slinky. I’m just here to tell you something without pressuring you. I’ll trap you with some cunning open questions and then leave you to close the sale on yourself while I pop down the coffee shop for another round of toast.

I was SO un-salesy that compared to all the Gekkos sliding up and down the halls on their own hair, prospects seemed relieved to have a human to deal with. Even though they still didn’t want to be sold to, I was the lesser of various waist-coated evils.

It’s a style that’s served us VERY well over the last 17 months while face-to-face meetings have been off the menu. If your success at selling involves crashing into the meeting room through the ceiling like Lord Flashheart and dazzling everyone with your piercing man-eyes, a 720p web cam and £7.99 amazon desk mic probably aren’t quite doing the job.

Rather than bemoan the shape of remote sales, instead use this opportunity to refine your sales techniques. If you’re one of the “I can sell anything to anyone… in person” types, it’s time to rebuild. Assess your service or product, stop selling it, and just start talking to people about it. Be it in person, by Zoom, or down a crackly land line, good sales is still good sales.

Now go and put some trousers on.