Sponge New Business agency

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Removing the dung

As you can imagine, I spend a considerable amount of time browsing agency websites each week. It's not just because I enjoy seeing the impressive work done by creative minds; I'm also (let's be honest) on the lookout for those who are doing a dreadful job of representing themselves. Who knows, there might be an opportunity for us to swoop in and save them from their own misguided efforts.

During these browsing excursions, I come across an abundance of BS, hyperbole, and criminally wasted space. It baffles me why someone would choose to pass on showcasing a killer case study and instead bombard me with irrelevant details like their high school achievements, their encounter with CFO "Dean," the year they were established, or the thought process behind their office building selection. It's mind-numbing.

But one of the most common instances of BS I encounter is the kind of statements that were undoubtedly written while standing proudly atop a mountain, chest out, gazing heroically into the sun. However, upon closer inspection, they turn out to be nothing more than utter guff.

Take, for example, the classic gem: "We will only take on a client if we believe we have the knowledge and expertise to help them." Yeah, right. So you're telling me that if Client X shows up with a bag of gold, you're going to turn them away because you suddenly doubt your own expertise? Give me a break.

We're supposed to read such statements and think, "Wow, these guys have integrity!" but all we do is blow coffee out our noses and roll our eyes (which, by the way, is not as easy as it sounds).

Naturally, I couldn't resist sharing this statement with my colleague during a Skype session (yeah, we can be a pair of total bitches). His response hit the nail on the head: "It's such a BS line. Easy to claim, impossible to disprove, and unlikely to be true."

Wise words, my friend. Wise words.

So, let's cut to the chase and stop saying silly things. We see right through the facade, and all those heroic statements are just taking up valuable space that could be used to impress us with your actual work and the tangible outcomes attached to it.

PLEASE, let the results speak for themselves.