Use you're head

Your already sniggering aren’t you? Your looking at this thinking “what an idiot. He has NO IDEA how to use apostrophes”.

I - however - am sniggering back because…. Im doing it on purpose! (although it is making my OCD tingle like Spider-Man at a Doc Octopus convention*).

Basic spelling errors and apostrophe misuse are simple mistakes to make, but 1) it might be the difference that put’s you in second place to you’re competitor, and 2) its entirely avoidable FOR FREE.

Im talking about grammarly.com (and yes - im still doing it on pirpose).

It really doesn’t matter how good a writer you are or how excellent your spelling and punctuation generally is, you WILL make a mistake at some point - it’s just going to happen, trust me. So make sure you take advantage of the free tools afforded to us in the year 2021. Get a Grammarly extension for Chrome or just get into the habit of copying any large doc into a blank Grammarly page before it goes anywhere, just in case it spots something silly you’ve done or - god forbid - has a better idea to suggest.

You still use a calculator to check basic equations (yes, even the ones that make you hang your head in shame afterwards) so dont be a snob about it. (See what I did their?)

*We’re easily the nerdiest new business agency.

Being clever is enough™

You are probably excellent at what you do. I’d like you to tell me about it: tell me what you do, who you’ve done it for, and how successful it was. Feel free to use normal English; stick to describing the techniques employed and the skills involved. I think there’s a really good chance I’ll be impressed.

Don’t, however, try to make it sound more than it is. Being clever is absolutely enough to impress me.

Also: DEFINITELY don’t trademark a name or phrase you’ve made up for your process. If what genuinely happened was that you got some very clever people from your company together and solved a problem… then stick to that as an explanation. Don’t call it “The Nine Rs™” or “The Step-Up-Co-Collective-Laberation™” (and don’t use a word like Jigglewaftenkle™ and pretend it’s Norwegian ).

We do REALLY REALLY well for our clients simply by describing the skills they have and the amazing results they’ve achieved. Honestly, try it. You’ll spend so much less time explaining why the process is called THE NAME™ you’ve given it that you’ll probably end up having a nice chat and becoming friends.

In summary: you’re probably excellent, so just tell prospects why you’re excellent. If you do already have a trademarked process, fear not - there is a way around this… DON’T MENTION IT! There, now you can get on with the job of winning your agency new business.

I don't care about you

A harsh headline I know, but ask yourself this: when you were hungry and bought that Twix (without telling anyone, obv) did you stop to think about the history of the company, the story behind the iconic factory it was made in, or the individual humans who so kindly mixed the biscuit and poured the caramel?

No, of course you didn’t, because you don’t care, and that’s fine. You paid the asking price and therefore bought the privilege of not caring. And Twix should be grateful; you wanted their product so you bought their product.

Imagine if every time you wanted a Twix the company insisted you take a guided tour of the factory, read a ten-page history on the company and met all the key staff (who insisted on telling you all about their individual hobbies and interests). You wouldn’t bother because - to revisit our theme - YOU DON’T CARE.

So let’s turn that on ourselves: we’re agencies (biscuit makers), we have services (biscuits) and we’re hoping new clients want to buy our services (possibly biscuits - I’ve slightly lost track of my metaphor but I’m sure it’ll come back round in a minute). So WHY are we not simply showing them biscuits on page one of our creds and web sites, instead demanding that they first chew their way through our family-sized ABOUT US pages?

If someone wants PR, show them the PR you do. If someone wants branding, show them the branding you do. If someone wants biscuits, show them biscuits (Jesus, I’m hungry now).

No one came to your site to learn all about Dean and his penchant for recreating Hollyoaks episodes in Lego. They came to see the things you do, not who you are. Show them your work, and once they’re dazzled by that they MIGHT be kind enough to show interest in the history of your building or when you were founded.

Just because you think you’re important, you’re not. Always remember that.

Meet your Creator

It’s very unlikely you’ll get more than a few inches down your LinkedIn page today without a video busting into auto-play life. It’ll probably be a desperate-for-likes CEO showing off his tap dancing while dressed as a character from Frozen, or perhaps a VERY close-up sales consultant telling you how you should live your business life (making sure you notice their huge, expensive watch while a guitar they can’t play hangs in the background).

Up until now, less narcissistic business folks have had the luxury of snorting at such video-foolery while getting on with some real work, but Creator Mode is about to shake things up. Described as a way to grow your following and “establish your voice”, Creator Mode is looking to take LinkedIn’s profile pages (which do currently look a bit like a messy desk in a busy factory office) and “more promptly display your content”. The only problem with this could be… what if you don’t have any content?

A bit like how little you thought about having no tattoos until you noticed how many tattoos everyone else had, now that everyone’s content will be front and centre, isn’t that going to make everyone notice how little content you have?

“Content is king” but not if that content is shit. Then “Content is shit” – which is a completely different thing.

There are good ways to make content (feel free to get in touch and we’ll share our thoughts on that) but don’t just start posting content because everyone else seems to have so much of it (you’ll do more harm than good, honest). A good one-liner can get way more laughs than a weak five minutes of stand-up, so choose your output wisely. And remember, you’re only as good as your last tap-dancing snowman.  

Nice to see you, to see you… sometimes

I spoke before about the need to get comfortable staring into a camera regardless of how much you loath the way you look and sound recorded. However, there’s also danger to be had on the other side of the coin; if you’re too comfortable in front of a web cam’s lens you can quickly become a performing monkey, losing as much credibility as you might have gained from publishing worthwhile content.

It’ll sound nothing short of bitchy to say this, but in the past 12 months I’ve cringed alongside colleagues as we’ve watched relatively senior personnel appear on LinkedIn doing press-ups, singing and dancing, or just talking utter drivel into their device of choice as they chased single figure likes and shares (mostly from pedantic colleagues and established ‘chummy’ connections). “Oh Barry! LEGEND!” etc.

The deluded also appear to have found a new home on the small screen. Young ‘business experts’ (sometimes with as much as seven months’ experience, no less!) appear in 20-minute recordings, sharing their often-laughable idealistic thoughts on how business should be done (while their little brother no doubt whoops them on from the bunk bed off-screen).

Yes, there is an expectation to create content, but it’s no longer hard to do so don’t feel you have to say something just because you’ve got 4GB of memory left on your iPhone. We’ve worked hard of late to understand what content has an impact (and how long you get to convey that before the audience moves on to the next dancing CEO). Soon it’ll be a level playing field – everyone will have the same HD capabilities with chromakey and animations at the touch of a button. I can’t wait because – as is always the way – we’ll be back to “content is king” (and we’ve got LOADS of that!). Now, shut up and dance monkey boy Head of Sales.

Through gritted teeth

It’s a million miles from sitting on the phone making cold calls, but it seems the ability to quickly get your face and thoughts onto someone else’s screen is becoming increasingly key in new business outreach. I happen to have a background in TV from previous careers so nattering like a loon into a camera doesn’t faze me, but for many ‘normal’ people, the difference between the need to project themselves via video and their instinctive hatred of how they look and sound in a clip can be a real obstacle.

The simple message is… get over it. Harsh I know, but it’s 2021; a generation is on its way that has never known anything but selfies (nor will they know the terror of handing complete strangers your camera to get a holiday snap).

In a world of TikTok, Instagram, LinkedIn (and *sigh* selfie-sticks) we all need to find a way to utilise - and capitalise on - this instant output. We’re all expected to be able to point a camera at our faces and do what needs to be done. And for good reason…

Research has shown that LinkedIn users are TWENTY times more likely to re-share a video post than any other type of content. If you want other LinkedIn members to help spread your message for you, video is the way to go.

We (of course!) have a way to help you with this, so do get in touch if you’d like to know more. Until then, you’re on your own, so you’ll just have to grin and bear it (while pressing record).

How agencies can improve their creds deck's "About us" section.

Agencies can win more business by understanding the differences between prospecting in the cold channel and prospecting to referrals. Here we discuss the "about us" or "who we are" section, which is often seen as a place to inject lots of processes, founded dates and info on what the team gets up to in their spare time.

Summary (in case you can’t view the video):

The “about us” section of a creds deck or agency website can often present lots of subjective things that in fact give a prospect a reason to eliminate an agency rather than choose them. “About us” should be written with the underlying context of outcomes and results. If the processes you talk about on an agency “about us” page aren’t linked in some useful way to the commercial outcomes you cause for clients, then the prospect can’t be expected to do the work of joining those dots for you. If you’re an agency that creates brands that drive long-term commercial growth, then say that first. Once the prospect is interested in how you do that, then you can tell them.

Scores on the doors

Here’s fun: Open up your cold channel creds deck (you know, the one that you have JUST for people who wish they’d not answered the phone to you but did and are now trapped having agreed to look at “some creds”).

Ok – real quick… flick through and award each page a score from 0 to 5 based upon how likely they are to be a deal-clinching slide. “Hello” pages get 0, quirky photos of staff in circles also score 0, case studies showing not only the sexy work you produced but also the commercial outcomes they resulted in get a 5. Come back to me when you’re done.

Hi. So, you probably have a score sheet that looks something like 0, 1, 0, 0, 1, 4, 4, 3, 5, 5, CONTACT US!

It might be better than this, but chances are we’re about to disagree over what information impresses prospects and what information simply impresses yourselves. Agency new business is our thing, so trust us for a mo…

The second part of this fun exercise (isn’t it though!) requires you to now delete the second half of your deck. If you had 12 pages, p7 and onwards no longer exist. Why? Well because if you think anyone looks through ALL your creds out of the blue, you’re kidding yourself.

The first few pages ‘earn’ you the chance to have more pages read. If (after killing the end 50% of your deck) you are left with a bunch of really low-scoring pages that include photos of yourselves, a page that discusses the year in which you were founded (and how your office was once a toothpaste factory) then you’re missing the point of cold channel creds. You aren’t having a cup of tea with referred chums; you’ve been given three seconds of a cold prospect’s day to shout something so exciting in their face that they give you a further 30 seconds.

“Hi – we’re the guys that increased IKEA’s online sales by 35%. Then we increased engagements by 4,000 a month for Pot Noodle. Then we… etc.” THESE are deal-clinching slides. If they’re not at the VERY front, then you’re kidding yourself as to how many companies hire you because of your faces.

GAME OVER. Now try again at a harder level.

Be prepared to change your trousers (especially if it gets the job done)

An interesting point of resistance we regularly face with clients is the reluctance to let go of an imagined self-identity. This happens even if 1) the agency is the only one apparently aware of (and married to) this identity, 2) clinging onto it isn’t exactly working a treat anyway, and 3) we’re guaranteeing a stone-cold improvement in results if the agency in question relaxes its stance.

Some agencies see themselves as working exclusively with - for instance - luxury brands, or in fashion, or tell everyone they’re specialists in the construction sector. What a shame; imagine all the invoices you could send out if you opened yourself up to sectors ‘beneath’ you.

Don’t be defined by the work you’ve done (or the work you’d rather only be doing); instead look at that unique group of people in your office (and your people really are the ONLY unique thing you can ever boast about) understand what they are just brilliant at delivering, and then think not about where they’ve been successful so you can fight for more of that, but how you could change shape slightly, change your trousers (even if it’s ditching the metaphorical tweed for ripped jeans) and start profiting as a flexible business that changes shape depending upon which configuration will most appeal to the prospect being targeted.

Create creds or sections of your website that make you look the way you want to look to a specific audience. Then invite them in and reap the rewards of being smart enough to know it’s not how you want to look that matters.

You can always change your trousers again tomorrow.